Goodbye Seventeen

On the day of my 18th birthday, I thought this would be a good title for the first post of a blog. My birthday being on the first day of the year, it'd be a way to document my first year out of high school neatly. Naturally this idea simmered away until almost exactly four months later, a terrifying third of the way through 2013. Part of me thinks I'll have to wait until next year to start this thing off perfectly, and that most likely I shouldn't even do this at all - it's stupidly self centred, surely, and very teenage-girly (why is that an insult, again?). But then I figured, even if there's nothing new about this concept, I suppose I will do it a little bit differently, and I might as well, because even if it's not saving the world, it's not directly harming it either. I've felt lately that the world's been slipping away from me, like I only have a small framework in which to succeed, or just to try and be something better than what I am.

Of course this is totally ridiculous, but I felt a pang at the thought of my seventeen year old self slipping away. I'd developed this obsession with finding that number, discovering just how many songs mentioned this age, as if it was the start of everything, the most romantic age of all where one learnt the truth and where one was young and sweet. There's something very promising and poetic, an extension of the world's general obsession with youth I suppose. It's a total fantasy, but seventeen year olds are meant to be on the cusp, scary in their own potential - I felt like I was properly me then, just about to begin.

I feel as if I haven't really started yet - like I somehow missed the bus. There's one quote that springs to mind (incidentally from a tv show that I haven't even watched an episode of):

"One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life."

- One Tree Hill

Excuse me while I hyperventilate - it's silly though, while this quote makes me almost to scared to do anything just in case I trip over and mess up my life, it's ultimately daring to "waste" some parts of your life that ensure you know when you're not wasting it. Life is a gift, I guess, and I can still plan for someday when I'm 18 or 87. 

So here we are, a late start of a blog that I may as well start now as it's not like it's going to be more acceptable when I'm 35. I'm not entirely sure what it's going to contain, by I hope it contains something. I'm going to try to do a bit more with all the things I've been given. 

Here's a playlist I should have made on my birthday, although maybe I wasn't quite ready for it then. 

Goodbye, seventeen.